


California

by 10catsallpiledtogetherinspace



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: ;), A little, Angst, F/F, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love those space lesbians, Meddling TARDIS, Mentions of River Song/The Doctor, Romance, Yaz is a TOP, beach, im gross, the doctor is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:17:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10catsallpiledtogetherinspace/pseuds/10catsallpiledtogetherinspace
Summary: The Doctor had felt like this before. She remembers feeling like this before. Only a couple of regenerations ago she’d been with River, or rather, he’s been with River, and had felt it all the time. It was just, this body was new, and so different.Or, The Doctor deals with her feelings for Yaz.





	1. The Beach

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a dash of angst and there's a chronic lack of Yaz/Doctor stories. Oh also I might write smut to finish this off so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Please Review! Need that constructive criticism. This story is also on fanfiction.net under the same name.

The Doctor had felt like this before. She remembers feeling like this before. Only a couple of regenerations ago she’d been with River, or rather, he’s been with River, and had felt it all the time.

It was just, this body was new, and so different.

It had all started in California. Not the state, the planet. Ryan had begged to go to the beach. He wanted a day in the sun, and the Doctor found no reason to object. A couple of lever pulls later and there they were, standing on a beach on a planet where sunburns were impossible. Graham was especially happy about that last bit.

“Hey Doc, aren’t you going to change into a swim suit or something?” Graham said, sliding on his sunglasses.

The Doctor pondered this for a moment.

“I suppose that wouldn’t hurt. I haven’t been swimming in,” she paused, thinking, “About fifty years now. That’s a good idea, ten points to Graham!”

Graham gave an obliging smile, trying not to look too shocked by the "fifty years" thing, and walked out onto the beach.

The Doctor rushed inside the belly the Tardis, wanting to get back outside and into the water as fast as she could.

However, once she got to the wardrobe, a new issue presented itself.

_What do I wear?_

Back when she was still a man, all she had to wear was a glorified pair of shorts. Now, she didn’t know. She remembered taking River to a beach planet once. She tried to think back to what she wore, but blushed at the memory. No _way_ was she wearing something like that.

She approached a rack of clothes, closed her eyes, and pulled out the first thing her hand landed on. It was a one piece, blue with those same stripes found on her shirts. The Doctor said a mental thank you to the Tardis, before cursing her as she began the feat of putting the suit on. It felt more like a corset than a swimming garment.

Finally, she had struggled into it. She slipped on some sandals she found by the door, and just as she was about to stroll out, she snatched up some googles.

_Never hurts to be prepared!_

So far, things were going quite well. The Doctor was smiling as she flung open the doors to the Tardis, sinking into the warm sand. She scanned the beach for Graham, who was currently chatting with a stocky, blue creature. She smiled when he waved to her. Ryan looked to be having the time of his life swimming around in the water.

She was just about to begin making her way over to him when she heard the Tardis doors open behind her.

“Doctor?”

The Doctor spun around smiling to greet Yaz, but before she could get a cheery ‘hello’ out of her mouth, she noticed how close they were.

And what Yaz was wearing.

It wasn’t anywhere near as revealing as what River had worn. Just a simple maroon one-piece, not unlike her own in shape, but she found herself staring mouth slightly agape.

“Um, Doctor?”

“Yes! Hello Yaz!” The Doctor stepped backwards, almost tripping over the sand. She was sure her whole face was red as Yaz caught her by the hand.

They both stared at each other for a moment. The Doctor’s thoughts were racing at a mile a minute, jumbling together about how good Yaz smelled and how soft her hands were and how _beautiful_ her eyes were that she barely even registered Ryan call her name.

When Ryan called her again however, she was more than willing to make her way towards him. She ripped her eyes away from Yaz’s.

“Coming Ryan!” She called, strapping her goggles to her face.

 

The California suns were finally beginning to set. Ryan and the Doctor were still chatting away having moved to the beach to create a sand-Tardis. The Doctor threw herself into her work, goggles now forgotten around her neck. She needed any sort of distraction to pull her mind away from Yaz, who was currently floating in the ocean water. The Doctor couldn’t help but steal a few glances at her, pulling her eyes away every time Ryan asked a question or made a comment about how the sand structure ‘didn’t have to be to scale’ and that the Doctor was ‘taking this to seriously’.

“There,” the Doctor puffed, finishing her meticulous placement of the final shell at the top of the sand-Tardis. “Yaz, come look!” she shouted, hastily adding “You too Graham!”

Yaz and Graham made their way over. They were both a little slow for the Doctor’s liking.

“Wow, it’s…” Graham trailed off.

“It’s very… unique.” Yaz bit out, hiding her smile behind her hand.

“Oi! We spent the past hour working on this!” Ryan yelled, obviously a bit offended.

“Actually, it was an hour and forty three minutes.” The Doctor mumbled, leaning back and inspecting her creation.

It was lopsided, sand slowly melting off of the right side. The shells were half falling off, and it almost looked sad. The Doctor blushed and frowned. In her defense she was rather _distracted_.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on the back of her neck.

“I think you get an A for effort.” She turned her head around to see Yaz smiling down at her. She was sure her blush had deepened as the thought of that hand tangled in her hair pushed its way into her mind.

 _Whoa!_ She swallowed, pushing the thought down, wondering where in the universe that thought had come from. The thought settled in her stomach, making a home there.

“Anybody hungry? I’m starved.” Graham interrupted the awkward silence that had settled within the group.

“Yeah,” Yaz began, removing her hand from the Doctor’s neck, much to her dismay. “Actually, I could go for something to eat. What d’you say Doctor?” Yaz asked, a slight shake to her voice that was almost undetectable.

The Doctor hopped up, destroying more of the sand abomination, much to Ryan’s chagrin.

“Sound’s great! There’s a fish and chips shop that way.” The Doctor suggested, pointing to her right, eager to distract herself.

Ryan got up as well. “When you say fish-“

The Doctor cut him off “Ryan, Earth isn’t the only planet with fish. It isn’t even the first planet to have fish!”

“So it’s safe then, not going to give us stomach aches or make us grow two heads?” Graham questioned.

The Doctor looked at him incredulously. “Graham, we would have to pay a lot more to have chips that make us grow an extra head. Although, if you like I could-“

This time Ryan interrupted the Doctor. “I think we’re alright, thanks.”

“Great! Fish and chips it is!”

 

It was a short walk to the chip shop. There weren’t many hiccups, besides Ryan getting scared of one of the local crab like creatures and screaming like a little girl. They were still making fun of him by the time they got to the shop. They settled on a couple of chairs outside on the balcony. Ryan insisted he didn’t want to sit next to Graham after a day out on the beach. Graham looked playfully offended but settled next to the Doctor with little fuss while Yaz sat across from the Doctor and next to Ryan, smiling. The Doctor had to do a bit of extra translation, and a lot of answering questions, but finally it seemed like they were ready to order.

A server dressed in bright green approached them.

“What can I get for you’s?”

“I’ll have a… number five?” Ryan said it more like a question than an order looking to the Doctor for confirmation, but the server didn’t seem to be bothered.

“Got it, and for you sir?”

“A number seven for me please Jaks.” Graham said, reading the servers name tag.

“I’ll have a number three, thank you Jaks. Oh! And with extra spice if you can.” The Doctor smiled at him.

“And for the lovely lady?” The server asked Yaz, smiling a sly smile.

The Doctor hardly had time to feel her blood start boiling before she interrupted.

“She’ll have a number thirteen, thanks.” The Doctor bit out, all semblance of any humor erased from her voice. Jaks looked taken aback.

“Alright. No problem ma’am. I’ll be right back with that.” Jaks mumbled, a slight purple blush gracing his features.

Before any of the group could begin to question what had happened, least of all Yaz whose mouth was hanging open slightly, the Doctor launched into a chipper ramble about the ecosystem on California.

 

At the end of their meal the whole incident with Jaks had been forgotten. Apparently the drink that the Doctor had ordered them had slightly intoxicating effects, making them all feel a bit looser. Ryan wanted to order another, but Graham stopped him with a stern look. The chips were a black color, and had dyed all of their tongues, making Graham squawk and the rest of the team laugh. Yaz, Graham and Ryan hung back at their table while the Doctor got up to pay. When she got to the counter, she was greeted by Jaks.

“You’re total’s thirty six credits.” Jaks mumbled, not meeting the Doctors gaze. The exchange was incredibly awkward, and as soon as the Doctor turned to return to her friends, Jaks caught her attention.

“Ma’am, I just wanted to say…” He trailed off as the Doctor met his gaze. “I apologize about earlier, I didn’t mean any disrespect, I didn’t know that she was taken…”

“Oh! Um...” The Doctor was about to correct him, but opted instead to brush it off. “It’s no problem at all.” She smiled, and Jaks smiled back.

She waltzed back to the table where her friends were bickering.

“Well at least I don’t scream like a little girl over a tiny crab!” Graham looked exasperated, and Yaz looked like she was about to die of laughter.

_She’s absolutely beautiful when she’s laughing._

The Doctor shook her head, chalking it up to the drink and trying to get rid of the intrusive thought when it settled in her stomach just like the others.

“Alright gang, are we ready to go?”

 

The Tardis team wandered back into the ship a couple hours later. The Doctor could tell her friends were exhausted, and even she was a little tired. She did her usual dance around the console, pulling levers and pushing buttons. With a final flick of a switch, the Tardis was launched into flight.

The ship shuddered and jolted harshly, making all of them fall over. Including Yaz.

Right into the Doctor.

The Doctor was hit with a barrage of sensory information, the biggest one being Yaz’s whole body being pressed up against hers in nothing but a swim suit, the second being the pain of a slight bump on the head, but that was an afterthought. She was momentarily paralyzed, and Yaz had to be the one to jump off of her, outstretching her hand to help the now rose colored Doctor to her feet.

“Sorry,” the Doctor breathed out, remembering how to talk. “Seems you’re doing a lot of that today.”

A silence settled between the two of them, before they both jumped at the sound of Graham clearing his throat.

“Well, I’m knackered, I think it’s about time for me to be hitting the hay!” Graham rushed out the words, Ryan nodding dumbly along, trying not to look shocked.

The Doctor dropped Yaz’s hand like a dead fish, fully realizing her surroundings.

“Yep! Good, fantastic, you humans need rest! You too Yaz.” The Doctor couldn’t bring herself to look Yaz in the eyes, so she opted to look just to the right of her.

“Good idea, I’ll just…” Yaz trailed off, shuffling away with Ryan and Graham in tow.

 

_The Tardis had jolted to one side, and suddenly…_

_Yaz pressed up against her. All of her curves imprinting themselves on the Doctor’s body. The smell of the sea, Yaz’s body wash, and something indescribable, something impossibly_ human _filled her nose. It was all the Doctor could do to not wrap her arms around Yaz and bury her face into her neck._

_She wondered what would have happened if she did. What would have happened if she had trailed kisses down Yaz’s neck right there? Wondered what she would have tasted like, skin mixed with sea salt. What kind of noises she would have made. What-_

The Doctor groaned, slapping her head against the console from where she was trying to do repairs. She was still in her swim suit, not bothering to change. She couldn’t pull herself away. It had been like this with River, but River had been _working_ to make her feel like this. It was like Yaz didn’t even have to _try._

 _Dirty old woman_. The Doctor thought to herself, blushing with shame. She couldn’t do this. Yaz was only nineteen for the universes sake! If Yaz had any romantic prospects on the Tardis it would be with Ryan, not with a damaged old Time Lord.

The Doctor tried to keep this at the fore front of her mind, returning to her work.

_The feel of Yaz’s skin on her lips, the smell of the sea in her hair-_

This wasn’t working. The Doctor felt too warm. She jumped up off the seat she was sitting in, making her way to the Tardis baths with a _long_ shower in mind.

 

What she didn’t expect when she arrived was for Yaz to be there.

Showering. Naked. How else? She would have asked herself, if her brain had been working correctly.

The Doctor froze in place. Her mouth dropped open. Yaz wasn’t facing her, she hadn’t noticed yet. She stood for a moment, unable to do anything but stare, trapped. She was forced (well maybe not _forced_ , at least not in a  _bad_ way, she conceded for a moment before shaking that thought off) to take in all of Yaz’s body. Suddenly, Yaz began to turn around. Just as she was about to meet the Doctor’s eyes, the Doctor slammed the door behind her.

The Doctor walked comically fast down the hall, ducking into the first free bathroom she found. That was supposed to be _her_ bathroom! How did Yaz even there in the first place? She mentally cursed at the Tardis, who gave her the equivalent of sticking her tongue out in response.

Her heart pounding in her chest, the Doctor prayed to any god that would listen that Yaz hadn’t seen her, knowing that she probably had. The Doctor stripped out of her bathing suit with shaking hands, turning on the shower to the hottest setting she could handle and stepping inside.

_Flashes of her and Yaz in the shower appeared before her eyes. Her fingers pressed into Yaz’s stomach had enough to make bruises, her teeth nipping at Yaz’s neck-_

“Agh!” The Doctor pressed her body against the cold tile, desperately trying to get her mind off the other girl. The Doctor slid down the wall, sitting against it on the shower floor, head in her hands. She raised her head slightly, putting it directly under the spray.

Well, maybe it couldn’t hurt to _take care_ of it.

The Doctor pondered this for a moment. Where would she start? _How_ would she start? She had been with women before but she had never _been_ a woman before. Would it even be the same?

The Doctor’s breath came out in staccato puffs as her shaking hand slowly drifted downward. She briefly indulged in the fantasy that it was Yaz’s hand. That she was whispering into her ear.

_“Just relax Doctor." The Yaz in her head sighed._

She bit her lip to keep herself from making any unseemly noises, her hand shaking worse and worse as she got closer to her-

“No!” The Doctor yelped to herself, yanking her hand away.

She tried to push all of her thoughts away. She imagined Yaz’s face warping into one of disgust. She imagined Yaz pushing her away with all her might, tearing into her, screaming that she was a horrible, dirty, old creature.

She blushed, hanging her head. Yaz had seen her staring in the bathroom. What could she possibly be thinking? What if she was angry? What if-

The Doctor thought about Yaz leaving her.

It took all of the Doctors strength not to cry. She ended up sobbing quietly anyway.


	2. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor reflects on her demons and the events of Demons of the Punjab, and has a chat with Yaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor a freak ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_“Please.”_

_“I can’t believe how disgusting you are. Do you have any shame at all?”_

_“Yaz, I-”_

SMACK!

_The Doctor’s cheek burned with pain as she tried to hold on to the feeling of Yaz’s hand on her face._

_“I’m only nineteen! I’ll die in a few years, and I’ll leave you all alone. You’re so stupid!”_

SMACK!

_The Doctor bit back a whimper and tried to keep tears from falling out of her eyes._

_“Again, please.” She found herself saying._

_Yaz looked taken aback for a moment, before a sinister grin stretched across her face._

_“You’re getting off on this aren’t you?”_

_The Doctor cast her eyes downward._

_“You really are an alien.”_

SMACK!

The Doctor gasped, almost falling out of bed. Even sleep couldn’t save her from the thoughts swirling around in her head.  She was still scared of what had happened in the baths. It had been about a week since the beach, and while her thoughts hadn’t gotten worse, they certainly hadn’t let up. At least it wasn’t the time war she was dreaming of.

God, she was foul. She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. What was that about?

Before she could let herself reflect any more about her dream, she hopped out of bed and started to get dressed.

 

“Are we all ready?” The Doctor’s smile stretched across her face, snapping her suspenders as she heard Ryan shamble into the console room.

“I don’t see why we have to get up so early.” Ryan mumbled.

“It’s been a whole twelve hours! That’s more than any human would need normally.” The Doctor shot back.

“Um, Doctor…” She heard a voice come up behind her.

“Yes Yaz?”

 “I was wondering,” Yaz began, unsure. “Could I go see my gran when she was younger?”

“No.” The Doctor kept her eyes locked on the console.

Yaz blanched. “Doctor why not?” Ryan and Graham looked curious too.

The Doctor was not looking forward to this explanation.

“Messing with the past, especially your own is incredibly dangerous. Small things could change the course of time all together.” The Doctor tried to sound firm.

“Aw come on Doc, it sounds like fun!” Graham whined.

“No, no way. I can’t risk it.” The Doctor replied.

“What's the point of having a mate with a time machine if you can't nip back and see your gran when she was younger?”

The Doctor snapped her eyes to Yaz’s. _So you can spend time with me? Don’t you like me? Don’t you want-_

_Would you leave me if I said no?_

The Doctor’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She lowered her gaze and mumbled, “You got a time and place?”

 

Finally they had all made it back into the Tardis. She knew she shouldn’t have done this, even if Yaz would have been cross with her. It would have been worth it to push back just so she wouldn’t have had to see Yaz’s face fall when she told her about Prem.

Once she was done fiddling with levers and pulling switches to get them away, she stood in front of Yaz.

“She made it out, right? She got to Lahore. She lived. She made it.” Yaz said, almost unsure of her own history. The Doctor looked at her, eyes as soft as they could be.

“Yeah, she made it Yaz.” The Doctor reached over to rest her hand on Yaz’s shoulder.

“Could I go and see her? I mean, could you take me back home?”

The Doctor struggled to look supportive. Struggled to not have disappointment written all over her face.

How selfish could she be? Yaz had just seen her grandmother lose a husband, and she was still worried about Yaz leaving her! She dropped her hand from Yaz’s shoulder.

“Just for a bit.”

“Of course Yaz.” They both said at the same time.

The Doctor took a step back, waltzing back over to the console.

“How about you two? Fancy a quick trip home?” The Doctor questioned to Ryan and Graham, trying to smile.

“Yeah, probably a good idea. Figure I should at least check my mail.” Graham tried to joke, startled into speech, but it fell flat, earning only a pity smile from both Ryan and Yaz.

The Doctor began the dance of flight. If there was a little less spring in her step, no one noticed.

 

They were all gone, and the Doctor was left alone with her thoughts again. Left alone with the image of Prem’s face in her mind. She was sitting in the library, trying to focus on her book, but she couldn’t. She opted for absentmindedly staring at the designs on her hands. She closed her fingers over them. Just another reminder of the people she couldn’t save, another reminder of how everyone would leave in the end.

She flinched.

Yaz seemed angry at her the whole time. She couldn’t shake the feeling that Yaz was upset with her. All the Doctor wanted to do was get on her knees and beg to be forgiven.

She started to worry. This was a dangerous level of attachment. It was causing her serious distress now. She was torn between believing Yaz hated her or believing Yaz didn’t think anything of her at all. She rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes against the impending headache. Her mind still throbbed slightly from the mental intrusions of the Thijarians, and all of her thoughts were only making it worse. She tried to think of something simpler, like quantum physics, but even that only held her attention for mere moments.

Just as she was about to get up to take yet another shower, she heard steps coming down the hall.

The Doctor tensed, jumping up and quietly making her way behind one of the bookshelves. When she peaked her head around the shelf, she saw Yaz make her way towards the sofa, picking up a book the Doctor recognized as one of her favorites and settling down in the spot the Doctor had just been occupying.

There was a moment of pause as the Doctor simply admired the way Yaz looked in the firelight before she began to slink out of the room. She was half way to the door when she tripped, knocking over a large pile of books she recognized as her ‘to read’ section and falling flat on her face.

She registered Yaz calling her name before rising to her feet.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, right as rain! Whatever that means…” The Doctor said that last bit more to herself than anyone else.

“I was just,” the Doctor paused, racking her brain for an excuse, “looking for a book!” She finished, hastily grabbing one of the novels lying on the floor.

“Doctor…” Yaz trailed off. The Doctor held her breath.

“I wanted to know, are you okay? I know that it must have been hard for you, not being able to do anything about Prem.” Yaz said this so softly it was almost a whisper.

The Doctor blubbered a bit trying to craft the right response, but mostly she was shocked that Yaz had even asked.

“Of course I’m okay. Are you? It was your nan.” The Doctor stepped cautiously towards the other side of the sofa Yaz was on, settling on it with her new book in her lap.

“Yeah. Seeing her today, the her _I_ know helped me put things into perspective.”

There was a momentary silence.

“It was weird, seeing her so young and so old with in the span of a couple hours. How do you do it?”

That was a loaded question, one that the Doctor didn’t know if she could handle. She tried anyway.

“I suppose I… I try to make very moment count. I commit everybody to memory as much as I can. Not their faces, but _them._ There personalities, how they act, what makes them happy, I hold on to it as much as I can before-” The Doctor cut herself off.

Yaz’s face softened. “You’re very brave Doctor.”

The Doctor didn’t exactly know how to respond to that.

“So you aren’t cross with me then?”

Yaz looked taken aback. “Cross? Why would I be cross?”

The Doctor floundered. “Well, I just thought, after all the stuff that happened with Prem and…” The Doctor trailed off. She figured if there was any time to address what happened with the baths it would be now. She opened her mouth to speak before Yaz cut her off.

“I’m not upset with you Doctor, not at all. You only did what I asked. I should be apologizing to you. You warned me about meddling with my past.”

“You don’t need to, not at all. It makes all the sense in the universe that you were curious.” The Doctor began speaking before she could stop herself. “Being curious is good! It’s one of the things I like about you.” The Doctor’s eyes widened, and Yaz looked down at her feet and blushed.

The Doctor quickly tried to change the subject. “Where’s Ryan and Graham?”

“I tried to text them.” Yaz answered, still a little bashful. “They haven’t answered yet. Well, besides Ryan. He just texted the word ‘gaming’.”

The Doctor smiled at that. There was a beat in the conversation, and Yaz cracked open her book, beginning to read.

“D’you want to go somewhere?” The Doctor packed as much nonchalance into this sentence as possible, but Yaz still looked slightly shocked.

“What, without them?”

The Doctor backtracked a bit. “I mean, if you don’t mind, we could. We don’t have to, but I can land right back here in about five minutes.”

Yaz’s lips turned up in a small smile. She closed her book. “I don’t see why not. Where should we go?”

 

The Doctor had just finished telling an impatient Yaz about how fantastic this trip was going to be for the second time when they finally opened the doors to the Tardis. Rolling their bikes out onto the slightly wet forest trail, Yaz’s jaw dropped as she took in her surroundings.

“Come on!” The Doctor urged, strapping her helmet on. They were on the pink forests of Kite 7. The Doctor had made a point to park a bit away from their real destination so that they could ride bikes there. She was wearing a helmet at Yaz’s insistence. She balked at first, but when Yaz brought up all of the Doctors recent tumbles all she could do was blush and snatch a helmet off the shelf of the Tardis garage.

They both hopped onto their bicycles, and the Doctor began to lead with minor difficulty, much to Yaz’s amusement.

“You can’t ride a bicycle?” She taunted.

The Doctor shot back, “It has been a hundred plus years Yaz, I’m bound to have a bit of difficulty.”

“You’re right,” Yaz smiled, still teasing slightly. “I’m very proud of you.”

A swell of pride made its way into the Doctors chest and she sped up slightly, almost crashing into a tree.

It took a laughing Yaz a moment to catch up, but when she did she began to ask questions.

“Why are all the trees like this anyway?”

“How d’you mean?” The Doctor asked back.

“Well I mean, why are they all pink instead of brown?”

“Oh! Well it has to do with the level of tannins in the bark!” The Doctor slowed slightly, pushing over to one of the trees and pulling off two pieces of the thin, rose colored bark.

She made her way over to Yaz, who was now also stopped. “See, its darker pink on the inside. Means there’s higher levels of tannins on the outside than the inside. It’s still got a fair bit less  than Earth trees, mind. That’s how the trees are so pink.” The Doctor said, pointing to the inside of the bark, before popping some into her mouth.

“Doctor!” Yaz exclaimed.

The Doctor looked confused, chewing on the bark. “Wh’ts wr’ng?”

“You just ate-!” Yaz’s words died in her throat as she saw the Doctor begin to blow a bubble with her mouth.

“How are you doing that?”

The Doctor swallowed before explaining. “Earth gum is made from tree sap, these trees just have a lot more sap! It’s loads better than earth gum anyway, it doesn’t lose its flavor nearly as fast, and you can swallow it without having it in your stomach for seven years!” The Doctor grinned and held out the second piece of bark in front of Yaz’s bemused face.

To the Doctors surprise, instead of taking it, she leaned forward and bit it right out of the Doctor’s hand. The Doctor felt Yaz’s lips momentarily grace her fingers. They were soft and warm and everything the Doctor had dreamed of the past few weeks.

Yaz looked unfazed. Maybe a little smug, but the Doctor didn’t notice, she was still too caught up in the feel of Yaz’s lips to do anything. Yaz grabbed the Doctor's still outstretched arm, lowering it by her side.

“Right!” The Doctor barked, snapping out of her reverie, “On we go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Promise the next chapter will be more spicy. Actually I don't but it might be ;). Figure I might make this a little longer than what I originally was planning. It won't be more than like 5 or 8 chapters probably, but otherwise everything is unchanged! What do you guys think? Shorter or longer cause i dont knoooooooooow! Oh also if anyone wants to be a proof reader for me that would be awesome :D


	3. The Mayr Alta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Yaz reach their destination and start exploring. Everything seems fantastic, but with the Doctor's luck, will it stay that way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like spas. Also I decided that the next chapter is gonna be the last i'm a sucker for slow burn but im impatient and im ready to write SIN! Have fun with this one and I'll see yall soon!

Finally they had made it to their final destination. Yaz was still in shock as she reached the apex of what looked like a massive city. A dome stood before them, not unlike a concert hall in its make.

“Doctor, you still haven’t told me, what is all this?”

The Doctor used a tool similar to a slap bracelet, smacking it around her bike and a street poll. She gestured to Yaz’s bike, and the human dutifully brought hers over.

The Doctor was grinning, ever happy to be able to explain something.

“This,” The Doctor gestured grandly to the building in front of her, earning a giggle from Yaz, “Is one of the biggest spas in the universe. Yaz, welcome to the Mayr Alta.”

The Doctor spun around to face Yaz, expecting her to be impressed. What she didn’t expect was a face of confusion.

“Doctor, if it’s one of the biggest spas in the universe, where is everyone?” Yaz looked suspicious now.

“Oh! That’s the best part! There are people here, loads of people, but they all exist on their own plane, see?” The Doctor flipped out her sonic screwdriver, making the planet come alive with different creatures and humanoids.

“Wow.” Now Yaz was making the face the Doctor had been aiming for. “How’s that even possible?”

Now the Doctor was really pleased. Eager to explain yet another concept, especially a dimensional one, she began speaking. “Well it’s-“

“Wait, don’t tell me. I won’t be able to understand you anyway.” The Doctor’s face fell before Yaz took her hand. “Let’s go!” Yaz was smiling, washing away all of the Doctors disappointment.

 

The Doctor still hadn’t let go of Yaz’s hand. She had taken the lead, a series of colored lights directing them towards a small changing room.

“Hello travelers.” A voice said as soon as they arrived inside the room. Both Yaz and the Doctor jumped.

“Welcome to the May-“ The Doctor quickly shut the voice off with her sonic.

“Hey, what if that was useful?” Yaz spun around to face the Doctor.

“It’s okay, there are rules written up on the wall,” the Doctor paused, “and when did I start caring about the rules?”

“It says we have to stand inside one of these lockers.” Yaz said, studying the sign.

“What, all the way inside?” The Doctor asked in disbelief, leaning in front of Yaz to get a look at the instructions.

“Looks like it. Ready to relive your school days Doctor?” Yaz joked.

The Doctor looked highly offended. “I was never pushed into a locker at the academy! We didn’t even have lockers. Maybe a trash can, but that was only once.” The Doctor mumbled the last bit and blushed. Yaz had already stepped inside one of the lockers.

The Doctor cautiously made her way inside and closed the door. It wasn’t cramped, but it also wasn’t spacious. Suddenly, a blast of cold wind hit her. Her teeth started chattering of their own volition. She then realized all of her clothes had disappeared.

All of the color drained from her face. “What have you done with my clothes?” She said lowly.

Just then she felt another blast of wind, warm this time, and the door popped open.

An open mouthed Yaz stood before her, dressed in what looked like a green swim suit that came to mid-thigh, with sleeves that stopped just before her elbows. The Doctor looked down at herself, panicked and frantically hoping she wasn't completely starkers before realizing she was wearing the same thing in blue.

Yaz was still dazed. “Told you it might have been useful.” She squeaked.

The Doctor could have melted on the spot. Instead she cleared her throat. “Why don’t we explore?”

 

It had taken them a bit to get used to their new attire, but soon it had become a second skin. They had walked around in silence for a bit, getting the feel of the place, but the Doctor was starting to get impatient. Emboldened from earlier, the Doctor took Yaz’s hand and led her to a door.

“This looks fun, let’s try it!”

“Whoa, I want to know what it is first, Doctor.” Yaz cautioned.

“Well,” the Doctor studied a panel next to the door. “According to this, it’s a hot bath. Or a cold sauna. It says it’s safe for humans though!” She pointed to a tiny figure of a person next to a check mark.

Yaz still looked hesitant.

“Come on, take a chance.” The Doctor looked right into Yaz’s eyes, making her lips curl upward.

“Okay, if you think it’s safe.” Yaz said bashfully, letting herself be pulled along by the doctor.

The Doctor immediately began shivering as soon as she closed the door. There was snow everywhere. The room was dim, and it seemed to mimic a small pine forest. She hopped towards a small pool in the center of the room, trying her best to get away from the cold.

“I thought you said this was for humans!” Yaz yelped.

“Well you’re not dead!” The Doctor yelled back through chattering teeth. She had made it to the pool, watching steam rise up and out into the frigid air. She dipped a foot in, pleased at the slight burn it gave, restoring feeling to her toes. Yaz joined her quickly, letting herself sink into the pool up to her shoulders. She settled on the side of the pond and sighed.

“I told you it would be nice.” The Doctor said. She would have sounded smug had she not been so relaxed.

Yaz laughed, a light, airy, slightly breathless sound that the Doctor immediately committed to memory.

“You said it would be fun, but I think this’ll suffice.”

The Doctor smiled lazily. “I’m glad you think so.” She said to the empty space where Yaz’s head used to be. Before she could panic, Yaz popped right out of the water, grinning from ear to ear.

“Sorry, were you saying something?” Yaz teased. The Doctor pouted, before dunking her head under water as well. Two could play this game. She slunk under the water, keeping her body low to the ground. Just as she reached Yaz, she jumped out of the water, splashing her.

Yaz gasped before a grin stretched across her face that the Doctor only got a slight glimpse of before her face was covered in a splash. Soon it was war, the two women reduced to the likes of seven year olds at a water park.

The Doctor ducked, holding herself low to the water again. She let her repertory bypass kick in as she waited. A minute passed before Yaz’s face appeared before her, air bubbles escaping her mouth and nose as she smiled. The Doctor smiled back, and they both came up for air together.

“Nice party trick.” Yaz chuckled breathlessly.

“It is not a party trick, its evolved Time Lord biology. It comes in very useful sometimes.” The Doctor said slyly. Yaz blushed.

For a moment, the Doctor just looked at Yaz. She couldn’t believe how angelic she looked. Her hair fell in dark wet ringlets around her face.  Her chest was heaving from the lack of air and her cheeks and nose were pink from the cold. If she looked close, she could see little crystals of ice forming on her eye lashes.

She was so caught up in looking at Yaz, noticing all of the things that made her so perfect, that she didn’t notice Yaz doing the same thing.

_She wanted to kiss her. Right there. She wanted to hold her arms against the wall of the pond and kiss her from head to toe. She wanted to show her just how useful her biology could be._

She jumped backwards, scurrying out of the pool as fast as she could. She couldn’t do this. She could _not_ do this.

“Doctor, are you okay?”

No. The Doctor was not okay.

“Yeah I’m alright, I’m just...” The Doctor trailed off, racking her brain for an excuse. “Let’s see what else they have around here.”

 

They passed room after room. After the first experience, Yaz was willing to try them all. A sunny room covered in apple grass (the Doctor loved the way Yaz looked in the sun). A room with low gravity, covered in box spring mattresses for jumping (the Doctor couldn’t help but notice how Yaz’s hair bounced and floated with ease). Even a room made for dipping yourself in luke warm wax (the Doctor had to help Yaz get some of her wax off and she relished every moment).

The Doctor couldn’t shake her feelings. Every thought that had made its way into the Doctors stomach was greeting her again all at once.

Yaz pulled her out of a momentary reverie.

“Doctor, what’s this?”

The Doctor walked over to the sign. Her face lit up despite her anxiety.

“Oh I haven’t done this in ages!” Yaz looked excited, before the Doctor added smugly, “Telepaths only, sorry.”

She tapped Yaz on the head. 

“You can watch though.”

“What is it?” Yaz inquired again.

“It’s like Tetris.”

Now Yaz looked properly curious.

The Doctor elaborated. “It’s really simple. Sort of like virtual reality, the machine does all the work. Imagine a house, and that house is someone’s mind. You’re trying to get into the house. It’s quite calming actually, and it’s fun!”

“That’s nothing like Tetris.” Yaz deadpanned.

“Come on.”

The room was awash in a dim purple light. A circle of cushions surrounded a tree like object. The Doctor settled down on the nearest pillow, gesturing for Yaz to do the same. Yaz cautiously sat down, as the Doctor closed her eyes and began to breathe.

She sized up her opponent. It was an earth house, not very big. It was as normal and plain as the Doctor had ever seen.

 _Well, this would be easy_.

“Are you watching Yaz?” The Doctor quipped, feeling cocky.

To her immense surprise, the door to the house swung open, revealing tired looking Yaz in pajamas.

“Wh’ts goin’ on?” She said, rubbing at her eyes.

Oh. She was a mess. She looked absolutely ravishing.

The Doctor walked up the path to the house, meeting Yaz at the door.

 _How are you doing this?_ The Doctor projected as strong as she could.

Yaz looked annoyed. “You don’t need to shout.” She grumbled.

 _Sorry._ The Doctor projected this softly.

Yaz paused for a moment, before scrunching her face up. The Doctor heard her through static.

_Wh-r- a-e we?_

_Remember when I was talking about the house?_

Yaz nodded

_Well, this is the house. How are you doing this?_

Yaz opted for talking this time. “Well I figured I would just start meditating, I wasn’t doing anything else. Then I opened my eyes, and I was here.”

_That’s odd. That’s really strange._

“You said it yourself that it was easy, the computer does everything for you, right? I guess anyone can be a highly evolved telepath if they want.” Yaz said smugly.

Oh. It was on.

_I suppose you’re right. So clever, you are. Can I come in?_

The door slammed in her face. She heard Yaz laughing from inside.

The Doctor took out her sonic screwdriver from her pocket and tried it on the door. Nothing happened.

Yaz laughed harder. “It’s wood!” She said between laughs.

_How’d you know my sonic doesn’t work on wood? How’d you make it wood in the first place!?!_

“I dunno, I just thought it and it was. Stop being a sore loser, Doctor.”

The Doctor steeled herself. She would not be beat by a human. It was game time.

 

Even the Doctor didn’t know how much time had passed. She had tried everything. Back entrance? Made out of wood as well. Ladder to the window? Yaz had not-so-gently pushed her off. Tunnel under the house? Fortified steel. Just as she was about to give up, she hatched a final plan.

She stood outside the front door. The sun was just beginning to set. She sprang into action.

“Yaz, come quick!” She shouted.

“What is it Doctor? Got stuck climbing in through the window?” A smug voice came from behind the door.

“It’s not about that, come look! Oh wow, this is brilliant!”

“What’s brilliant?” The Doctor heard the sound of blinds being opened, but she had her back to the house, making sure Yaz couldn’t get a glimpse of the nonexistent thing in her hands.

“Just come out and see Yaz!” She turned around and flashed her best winners smile.

After a minute she heard the sound of a lock being undone, and Yaz was standing outside her door. The Doctor stood up from where she had been crouched over, holding her hands together as if she were cupping something between them. She approached the inquisitive Yaz slowly. Just as she reached the top step of the porch, she surged forward, toppling Yaz and falling into the house.

“Yes!” The Doctor yelled triumphantly as the house and the scenery outside fell away. She relished in her victory for just a moment before she realized where she was.

They were back in the spa. It had been about two hours of straight mental activity. No matter how light, Yaz would most likely be exhausted.

It took her another moment to realize where Yaz was.

Yaz was pinned beneath her, looking quite shocked and slightly exhausted. Just like before on the Tardis, the Doctor could feel every piece of Yaz beneath her. Every hill, every valley. She could feel her breath coming out in little puffs on her lips.

Oh no. What was she doing?

“Oh, I’m sor- Let me hel-“ The Doctor stuttered. She tried to pull herself up, only to slam herself backwards into the tree like structure behind her. Ignoring the slight pain and the way the lights flickered in the dim room, she held out her hand to Yaz.

Still dazed, Yaz reached out her arm to take the Doctors hand. As soon as their hands touched, a flash of emotion went through them. Yaz cried out as a shot of the Doctors anxiety coursed through her veins. She pulled her hand away like she had just touched a hot pan.

“Yaz! Are you alright?" The Doctor crawled over to Yaz, her brows knitted together in pain.

“Help, Doctor.” Yaz managed through gritted teeth. The Doctor’s heart sank.

“What’s wrong Yaz, what are you feeling?” The Doctor choked on her words.

“Scared. Hurts, Doctor.” Yaz barely managed those few words before crying out again, bringing her knees to her chest.

The Doctor steeled herself. “I’m so sorry Yaz, I’m so, so sorry.”

With a single touch, the Doctor had shared all of her fear, all of her panic and all of her anxiety to someone who had no telepathic experience. She was surprised Yaz was still even conscious. A surge of guilt ran through her, turning the blood in her veins to ice.

She took hold of Yaz’s head, and concentrated on the happiest memory she could think of. She focused on California. Of the sand and the sea and how fantastic Yaz looked there.

Finally, Yaz relaxed in her arms.

She watched as Yaz slowly opened her eyes.

“Doctor?” Yaz’s voice was raspy.

“You’re okay Yaz. You’re safe, promise.”

“’m tired.” Yaz mumbled.

“You can sleep Yaz. I’ll be here. Just rest.”


	4. Raspberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaz wakes up to a worried Doctor standing over her. They're both flooded with relief, but will the Doctor make choices she'll regret? Also, will she make breakfast?

The Doctor had basically carried Yaz back to the lockers. She got herself and Yaz dressed, incredibly thankful for the automatic system. It had taken a bit of tinkering, but she had finally gotten a local teleport up and running and used it to take them directly back to the Tardis.

The Doctor had laid Yaz down on one of the couches in the library in front of the fire. She kept trying to read through her novel, anything to help pass the time while she waited for Yaz to wake up. It hadn't kept her attention long. Instead she opted to pace back and forth, looking longingly at Yaz every once and a while.

As she was making her two thousand and thirty first turn she heard a strangled gasp to her right.

“Doctor!”

The Doctor was at Yaz’s side instantly. She brushed Yaz’s hair off to the side of her face absent mindedly while staring into her eyes. She began to see tears forming there, before Yaz leaned forward, pressing her face into the Doctor’s neck trying to muffle her cries.

“I’m here. Oh Yaz, I’m so sorry.” The Doctor wrapped her arms around Yaz, the simple act calming her.

She felt awful. Here she was, using Yaz as a crutch, while she was in pain no less.

“Are you feeling any better?” The Doctor asked, hoping that was the case. She reached over to grab a conveniently placed glass of water on a small stool near her, handing it to Yaz, who took it gratefully.

“Yeah, I guess I’m feeling better than before. My head hurts, and the dreams…” She trailed off.

“You’ll have headaches. What you did shouldn’t even be possible for a human. What dreams?” The Doctor questioned, having just registered that tidbit of information.

“It’s just, when I was asleep, I kept having these nightmares.” Yaz teared up again.

The Doctor stopped breathing.

She tried to keep her face calm, but she was beginning to panic.

“What kind of nightmares were they?” She knew she shouldn’t be interrogating Yaz, she had just woken up, but she needed to know.

“I don’t really know. I’ve never seen anything like ‘em. Just fire and screams, people dying. Like a war zone. I tried to help them, but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk. It was like they knew I was there, though. Like they blamed me for what was happening.”

The Doctor was trying desperately to hold it together. She didn’t know what to say. How could she make this better? She didn’t think ‘Sorry those were kind of my nightmares about the time war that I projected into your head by accident’ was going to suffice.

“Doctor?” Yaz raised her hand, brushing off some errant tears that had escaped the Doctors eyes, making her flinch.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong Yaz, I’m fine. Those dreams were just random.” Is what the Doctor wanted to say. Instead all that came out was a rueful laugh mixed with a sob.

This time Yaz was hugging her. Despite her best efforts, as soon as she felt Yaz’s arms around her she broke down. She started blubbering, mostly the words ‘I’m sorry’ in a multitude of different ways. All the while Yaz whispered reassurances in her ear.

“I should never have let you do this. I should never have let you get hurt.” The Doctor sniffled.

Yaz pulled back to look at the Doctor.

“Its okay, Doctor. I wanted to. I knew it was risky and I chose to do it. It’s not your fault.”

“The dreams were mine!” The Doctor blurted. "The dreams we mine." She repeated hoarsely.

A beat went by. To the Doctor, it felt like a century.

“What-” Yaz began hesitantly, “They were yours? How could they be yours?”

The Doctor looked to the floor, cheeks burning. She was shivering, trying to prevent any more tears from escaping. 

“I-" She cut herself off. She couldn’t lie her way out of this.

"They’re of the time war. That’s what ended my people.” The Doctor murmured, chancing a look at Yaz’s face.

Yaz looked shocked. The Doctor was terrified. She had no idea what Yaz would think. What if she was horrified? She had a front row seat to the Doctor’s worst thoughts. She couldn’t imagine it was pleasant. The Doctor couldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see her again.

“Oh, Doctor.” Yaz breathed.

Then Yaz kissed her. On the mouth.

The Doctor froze. She had no idea what to do. Her body was giving off rapid fire signals to do so many things at once that they canceled out into nothing.

When Yaz finally pulled back, all of those signals told the Doctor to put her lips back on Yaz’s.

So she did.

She just barely bit back a whimper when Yaz’s tongue slipped into her mouth. She climbed onto the sofa Yaz was lying on, leaning her full weight onto the woman beneath her as she buried one of her hands in her hair. She groaned as she felt one of Yaz’s legs snake in between hers, brushing up against her just right.

Then she stopped. Yaz was hurt. Yaz was tired. She needed rest and all the Doctor could think of was-

She looked down at Yaz. Her eyes were wide and her lips were glossy. Her breath came out in uneven puffs. She looked _brilliant_.

The Doctor jumped off of her.

“I can’t, I’m sorry, I just-“ and she scrambled out of the room.

 

The Doctor didn’t sleep. She didn’t even try. Instead, she fixed the Tardis’s washing machines to be ten times more efficient, translated Romeo and Juliet into Gallifreyan, and made a perfect soufflé. Twice.

And in all that time, she could still feel the phantom press of Yaz’s lips on hers.

Finally, she began to get ready just like she would any other normal day. She set off to make the best breakfast she possibly could.

After what felt like a small millennia, she had created quite a spread. Toast, eggs, pancakes _and_ waffles, hash browns, chicken sausage from the eighteenth century and a pot of coffee from the twenty first.

Yaz stepped softly into the kitchen soon after. She had showered and dressed, but she hadn’t looked like she slept much either.

“Hello Yaz! Happy to see you! Have Graham and Ryan come back yet? There’s this amazing place I want to show them. What do you think about fish that swim in the air?” The Doctor rambled.

Yaz was much more subdued, picking up a mug of coffee and downing almost half.

“Still haven’t heard from them. It’s one in the morning in Sheffield right now.” Yaz almost snapped.

The Doctor paused nervously.

“Right, well then how about we go then, just the two of us. Or we can go looking for Ryan and Graham, I’m sure they’re around somewhere-”

“Doctor what just happened?” Yaz interrupted.

“What-“

Yaz interrupted again. “You kissed me last night.”

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide.

“You kissed me first. I just-" She paused. Being defensive was not her best move at the moment.

"It was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

Yaz looked crushed. “That was just a mistake to you?”

The Doctors mouth went dry.

“I- Well- I didn’t mean-“

“I can’t do this anymore Doctor! The way you look at me, the things we do, the places we see, I can’t keep doing all that if this is just some mistake.” Yaz was exasperated.

The Doctor marched up to Yaz, grabbing her hands.

“You are not a mistake. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, Yaz.”

“Then why-?”

“Yasmin. You’re young. You have a whole life ahead of you, and it’s a life I can’t share. I’m hundreds of years old.” The Doctor paused. She didn’t want to be saying all this. She wanted to be convincing Yaz to just go with it, to let it happen, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t in good conscience lead Yaz down that path.

“I'm an odd case. Not in a good way. I’ve seen so much of the worst of the universe. You deserve someone who can make you happy.”

“Doctor, you are the one person in my life that makes me the happiest.” Yaz confessed. “These past months have been the most amazing times of my whole life. You will _always_ make me happy.”

Yaz leaned in to kiss the Doctor. She wasn’t shocked, or frozen, or even scared. She leaned into it as far as she could. It was softer than the first time, calmer somehow.

“I’m sorry for being an idiot.” The Doctor murmured against Yaz’s lips.

The Doctor felt a flare of pain in her right arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” The Doctor yelped.

Yaz smiled contently. “That was for being an idiot,” She paused and gave the Doctor another quick kiss. “And that was for apologizing for it.”

The Doctor gave a lazy smile. “I guess I should be an idiot more often.”

Yaz laughed. “Not exactly the message I was going for, but I’ll let it slide.”

The Doctor kissed Yaz again, pushing her slightly backwards. She pulled back when she felt Yaz grimace.

She cocked an eyebrow and Yaz gestured to her hand. All five fingers were currently plunged into a plate of raspberries.

The Doctor smiled something sinister, picked up her hand, and wrapped her lips around Yaz’s index finger. She watched as her face turned as red as the raspberries and she bit her lip to keep from moaning.

“Doctor?” Yaz breathed.

The Doctor hummed around Yaz’s fingers.

“Do you have a bedroom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah i know this chapter is short and i know i wanted this chapter to be the last chapter but I also want to keep the smut separate from this bit so if you dont want any smut then you've reached the end! thanks for reading! But if you enjoy sinning and also going to hell like me then next chapter is for you! see yall soon!;)


	5. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Yaz finally give in, and then they make pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT boys and girls here it is! authors first sex scene! Two thousand three hundred FUCKING words of it so Anyway now If i ever meet Jodie whitaker or Mandip gill I have to be faced with the idea that I wrote graphic sex of them together so THANKS FOR THAT ALL OF YOU!!!! have fun sinners! also YAZ! IS! A! TOP! just so u know my stance on the issue.

One washed hand and a lot of kissing later, the Doctor brought Yaz to her bedroom. It was filled to the brim with trinkets from here and there. The ceiling was an open dome to the stars, casting a dim light onto everything inside. Yaz stared open mouthed as she took in the room.

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess, I know.” The Doctor mumbled.

“Just like you.” Yaz teased, still taken with the sight of the Doctors _bedroom_.

“Hey!”

Yaz snapped her attention back to an embarrassed Doctor. She approached her, pushing her back onto the bed with her pointer finger. The Doctor fell back with about as much grace as a new born giraffe, but instead of laughing, Yaz put her mouth on the Doctor’s neck.

Oh, well that was rather interesting.

She didn’t even try to stop a high pitched gasp from flying out of her mouth. She could feel Yaz’s smirk on her neck and tangled her fingers through her hair as she felt teeth scrape against where her Adams apple used to be.

Yaz trailed kisses up to the Doctor’s ear, nipping at it slightly, making the Doctor squeak.

She almost fainted when Yaz began to murmur against her ear.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

The Doctor felt her face heat up.

“N- not as long as I h-have- _Ah!_ ” The Doctor yelped and screwed up her eyes as Yaz bit down particularly hard.

Yaz chuckled, moving to focus on her mouth again as she slowly rolled the Doctor’s shirt up and off.

The Doctor felt Yaz lean back, sitting on top of her.

For a moment nothing happened, and the Doctor slowly opened her eyes. Yaz was just staring at her, eyes wide.

The Doctor turned her head to one side slightly, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to avoid Yaz’s gaze.

“A hundred year old time lord _shy?_ That’s gotta be a first.” Yaz said smiling, trying to break the ice.

This only seemed to add to the Doctor’s distress. “Sorry, it’s- I just- I’m sort of new to the ‘being female’ thing." 

The Doctor paused eyes avoiding Yaz's, hands trailing up to cover her cheeks, face pressing into the pillows. 

"If you don't- If there's something  _wrong_ then-" She kept trying to find something to say before finally deciding on "I'm sorry."

“Hey…” Yaz cupped the Doctors cheek, turning her face towards herself.

“There is nothing  _wrong_ with you. Promise." 

The Doctor breathed out a sigh of relief, nodding her head. Yaz grabbed her hands, bringing them to her sides, slowly guiding them upwards to remove her shirt.

“See, now we’re even.” Yaz smiled softly, and the Doctor moved back slightly, sitting up so she was facing Yaz. She leaned in, kissing her slowly. She slowly began to snake her quaking hands up Yaz’s back, fiddling with the clasp there. She tried about five times before she groaned in exasperation against Yaz’s mouth.

“Can you-“

“’Course I can.”

“It’s hard, it’s like-“

Yaz silenced her with a kiss, quickly undoing her bra before swiftly undoing the Doctors.

“How did you learn to do that so fast?” The Doctor said in breathless disbelief.

Yaz answered almost instantly. “Oh you know, bisexual training camp.”

“That exists?!?” The Doctor exclaimed, looking quite shocked.

Yaz burst into laughter, and the Doctor frowned. She dipped her head down, wrapping her lips around one of Yaz’s breasts, making her gasp.

 _That’ll teach you to laugh at me._ The Doctor thought triumphantly. She felt a hand trail up her stomach, stifling a gasp as it palmed at her chest.

Yaz leaned back, pulling herself out of the Doctors grasp and pushing the time lord onto the mattress, holding her arms at her sides as she sank down, kissing her chest, paying extra attention to her nipples.

The Doctor groaned, biting her lip to keep from yelling and digging her hands into the sheets of her bed. She couldn’t help but let a moan escape when she felt Yaz’s mouth move to her other breast, teeth scraping her nipple.

The Doctor was nearly writhing on the bed when she felt one of Yaz’s hands release hers. Reveling in the new freedom, she used her arm to wrap around the back of Yaz’s neck, pulling her closer.

The Doctor bit her lip as she Yaz brushed her hand down her stomach. She felt her trousers come undone and _really, how was Yaz doing that with one hand?!?_

All coherent thought or questions left her mind when she felt Yaz’s hands brush between her legs. It was a light touch, she hadn’t even taken off her panties yet, but the Doctor tightened her grip on Yaz’s neck and tensed.

Her brain wasn’t working. She was sure that Yaz had shut it down somehow. It wasn’t the same as when she was a man. It was hotter somehow. Like she was being set on fire. She started to feel desperate. She ached. She didn’t just want this, she _needed_ it.

When Yaz brushed her fingers over her knickers again, she let out a noise somewhere between a scream and a garbled moan, and she felt Yaz smile pressed into her breast. She yanked Yaz off of her with a light tug of her hair, bringing her up to mouth level to kiss her again with fervor.

Yaz indulged her for a moment. The Doctor, feeling emboldened by this, gave Yaz’s hair another light pull, not guiding her or moving her, just saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please don’t stop’.

Yaz abruptly pulled away, fingers and all.

“No, wait!” The Doctor began breathlessly. Yaz had one eyebrow cocked and had an almost professor like look of disappointment on her face. The Doctor blushed beet red.

The face she was making, Yaz almost gave in.

Almost.

She put on her best ‘I’m a cop and you should listen to me’ voice on.

“Tug my hair again yeah, and I’ll cuff your hands together.” She couldn’t help but smile once she reached the end of that sentence.

The Doctor’s eyes widened momentarily. That should not have affected her the way it did. Yaz was letting her eyes wander up and down the Doctor’s body with a cocky smile. She was obviously pleased with herself. The Doctor took a moment and looked down at herself. Small red and purple marks bloomed all over her chest.

With all of the snark she could muster, she replied in the best way she knew how.

“Understood, _Officer_.”

Yaz looked surprised, and also _very_ pleased.

She leaned in, giving the Doctor a kiss that she thought was almost unnecessarily violent.

Then she felt Yaz’s hand slip beneath her knickers, and once again, her thoughts turned to mush.

Yaz gave her a grin that could have rivaled the Cheshire cat. "Well, I must have been doing something right."

One hand once again tangled in Yaz’s hair, the other wrapped around her waist she tried her best to muffle her cries into Yaz’s mouth as her fingers began to move in circles. She was holding Yaz so tight that she was bound to have bruises the next day, but for once, the Doctor wasn’t really thinking about the future, time, or anything really.

“You can be as loud as you want, you know. Space. No one can hear you scream.” Yaz pointed out smiling. This didn’t do much to convince the Doctor out of her silence.

Yaz moved herself lower on the Doctor’s body, not stopping to admire her work on her chest this time. By the time she had made it to the Doctor’s lower stomach, both of the Doctor’s hands were tangled in her hair.

“Remember, no pulling.” She murmured into the Doctor’s stomach as her hands slowly tugged at the waistband of the Doctors pants.

“M-hm!” The Doctor squeaked, keeping her lips pressed together.

Yaz began pressing opened mouth kisses around the Doctor’s thighs. She couldn’t help the slight twitches in her hips, tensing and untensing her hands in Yaz’s hair to keep from pulling her to where she wanted her.

Finally, after what felt like hours, she felt Yaz’s tongue land exactly where she needed it, right at the apex of her thighs.

Oh. _Sod it._

She moaned in earnest, hips twitching against Yaz’s face. She actually felt Yaz chuckle against her, sending vibrations in shockwaves over her whole body.

Then, she felt a fingertip slip inside her.

She nearly screamed. Yaz moved her face away just to look at her. The Doctor had no time to mourn the loss before she felt Yaz’s whole finger slip inside her, up to the knuckle.

“This must be a bit weird for you if you were a man before.” Yaz said breathlessly, intrigued, watching the Doctor writhe, hands now desperately trying to find purchase on the bed sheets.

“ _Mh!_ J-just a bit, yeah- _Yaz, please!”_

She cried out as Yaz slipped another finger inside of her. It was like being stretched from the inside. It was simultaneously one of the most odd and fantastic things the Doctor had ever felt.

“Y-you did that- _stars_ -on purpose!”

Yaz smirked, lowering her head back down onto the Doctor in response.

This time the Doctor did scream.

Everything was going too _fast_  and too _slow_ and too _hard_ and not _hard enough_. All of the Doctor’s senses were overloaded. Her whole body began to tense. She was crying out, begging for more. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. Her whole body seized up. The Doctor came with Yaz’s name in her mouth, and then everything went black.

 

Yaz didn’t exactly know what having sex with an alien woman was going to be like, but if she had to imagine something, it certainly wouldn’t have involved said alien passing out. Yaz almost felt snubbed.

_Guess I’m just that good._

That one thought obliterated any annoyance she might have had with the Doctor. A pack of butterflies erupted in her stomach.

_I just had sex with the Doctor._

She giggled, her giggles turning into full blown laughs.

“Wha’s goin’ on!” The Doctor shot up out of her sleep with urgency. When she saw nothing but a laughing Yaz, she relaxed slightly.

“What’s so funny?”

“I took your virginity, and you _passed out!_ ” Yaz doubled over laughing, even harder than before, tears coming out of her eyes.

“Hey! I’m awake now aren’t I?”

Yaz’s laughter died down, turning into giggles. “That you are.”

“Well, _Officer_ ,” The Doctor shoved Yaz back down onto the bed, popping the button of her pants open swiftly before tugging them down.

“Eager are we?”

“Quick kip, that’s all I needed. Now I’m all yours.” The Doctor said, working at Yaz’s knickers.

“That you are.” Yaz repeated, running her hands into the Doctor’s hair and giving it a small tug.

“So I’m not allowed to pull your hair but your allowed free reign on mine?” the Doctor accused.

“Guess so. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.” Yaz added, giving the Doctor’s hair another tug just to prove her point.

Yaz was surprised at how swiftly the Doctor made work of her.

“You’re quite good at this you know.” She near whimpered, trying to keep a conversational tone.

The Doctor smiled almost sheepishly, mumbling against her, while swiftly and easily slipping to fingers inside her.

“Just because I’m new to being a woman doesn’t mean I’m new to being _with_ women.” She grumbled began pushing and pulling her fingers in and out of Yaz, almost to prove a point.

“I can see that.” Yaz breathed, tightening her hands in the Doctor’s hair “Don’t get cocky and _don’t stop._ ” She commanded.

“Yes, Officer.” The Doctor smirked, trying to appear at least mock serious. That seemed to spur Yaz on further. She decided to curl her fingers.

“ _Doctor!_ ” Yaz yelled lurching forward before falling back onto the bedcovers.

After a moment of letting Yaz’s breathing return to normal she crawled up beside her, wrapping her arms around Yaz’s middle, listening to her heartbeat.

“I’ll always love that.”

Yaz laughed, and the Doctor heard it echo through her chest.

“What, the sex?”

The Doctor smiled, “Hearing just one heartbeat. But yeah, the sex is nice too.”

“Oh right. I almost forgot.” Yaz mumbled.

The Doctors face fell slightly as Yaz moved to put her head on the Doctor’s chest.

“It’s easy to forget.”

Yaz listened to the double beat for a moment before looking up at the Doctor.

“Doctor,” Yaz began, “I really don’t care about that right now, honestly. Being with you is amazing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

The Doctor had a look on her face that was almost unreadable. Yaz leaned in to kiss her as softly and kindly as she could.

“How about we just make this moment count, right now.” Yaz looked straight into her eyes.

Slowly, the Doctor began to smile.

“Okay. I can do that.” The Doctor sighed.

“And in this moment, right now, I want pancakes.”

The Doctor’s smile turned into a grin.

“Pancakes I can do!”

 

It had been a while, but Yaz and the Doctor had finally gotten dressed and ready. They were both smiling lazy, contented smiles at each other. Yaz had her arms wrapped around the Doctors waist, watching her mix together the ingredients for pancakes.

“You know, you’re scarily good at this for an alien.” Yaz teased. "Making pancakes, I mean."

The Doctor reached to her right to grab something.

“Well I better be, considering I helped invent them.”

Yaz dipped a finger in the batter and brought it to her lips, earning a swat from the Doctor. Yaz just smiled turning her slightly to lay a soft kiss on her mouth.

“Oh my god.”

Well, that certainly didn’t come from either of them.

“What is i- Oh my god!” 

The bowl of batter clattered to the floor as they both stared at a shocked Ryan and Graham.

Yaz and the Doctor jumped away from each other.

Graham looked from the Doctor, to Yaz, to the love bites on both of them and broke into a grin, nudging a shocked Ryan.

“I told you didn’t I? I told you I did, I knew they were up to something, the pair of ‘em!” Graham kept laughing while Ryan stood frozen, mouth half open.

The Doctor looked from Ryan to Graham to Yaz to the mess on the floor.

“Tell you what, let’s go out for breakfast!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I'm happy i got to round it off at 5. I'll probably be writing more stuff so you know... stick around if u want :D C'ya!


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